Honouring the Inner Child: creativity, connection, and the healing power of play
This blog is for anyone who has ever found themselves overwhelmed by perfectionism, self-criticism, or a sense of disconnect—from themselves or from the children in their care. Whether you're a parent, carer, or simply someone who wants to reconnect with a more playful, compassionate part of yourself, this post explores the wounded inner child and how creativity can offer a path toward healing and connection.
What Is the Inner Child?
The inner child is a term used to describe the childlike part of our personalities. It is formed during our child years and is a collection of our earliest experiences, feelings, and impressions of the world. This part of us often influences how we relate to ourselves and others—even when we're not consciously aware of it.
The inner child is the voice inside us that still longs to be accepted, to feel safe, to play, to be comforted, or to be seen. It’s also the source of wonder, creativity, spontaneity, and imagination. When we’re in touch with our inner child, we may feel more alive, open-hearted, and curious. But when this part of us has been ignored, dismissed, or wounded, it can show up in ways that limit us or cause distress in adult life.
The Wounded Inner Child
Many of us carry within us a "wounded inner child"—a part of ourselves shaped by early experiences where our emotional needs may not have been fully met. These impressions left can help to determine how safe we feel, how lovable we believe we are, and whether our feelings and expressions are welcomed or dismissed. If we were scolded for being too loud, too messy, too emotional—or simply not “enough” in some way—those wounds may still echo in our adult lives.
These echoes might sound like harsh self-talk, avoidance of vulnerability, or difficulty setting boundaries. In parenting or caregiving, we might find ourselves struggling to respond to our own children’s emotional needs, especially when they mirror something unhealed in ourselves. For example, people who were raised with the belief that mess is bad can find the toddler years of child rearing a challenge. This can leave them overwhelmed and experiencing frustration or shame due to their perceived failings at keeping things clean and orderly. Often these beliefs are then passed on to their own children by repeated reminders that ‘mess is bad’.
Nurturing the Inner Child
Recognising the inner child is one thing; nurturing it is another. Healing begins when we allow space for that younger part of ourselves to be seen, heard, and accepted without judgement. This might mean offering ourselves the tenderness and permission we didn’t receive growing up. It also means letting go of the idea that healing is only found through words—because often, the inner child speaks most clearly through feelings, images, movement, and play.
Creativity: A Bridge to Connection and Healing
Creative expression can be a powerful way to reconnect with our inner child. Art, music, storytelling, and play allow us to explore emotion, curiosity, and freedom in a way that words often can’t. When we create without a goal or expectation—without worrying about the outcome—we make space for self-expression that is joyful, honest, and healing.
Importantly, this isn’t about being ‘artistic’. It’s about letting go of the adult tendency to evaluate and control. Children don’t worry if their painting is good or their story makes sense—they create because it brings them alive. Giving ourselves permission to do the same can be a deeply reparative experience.
Playing Creatively With Our Children
For those raising or working with children, there’s often pressure to maintain order, minimise mess, and keep everything ‘under control’. But over-structuring children’s play can unintentionally dampen their imagination, reduce their confidence, and increase anxiety. When children are allowed to explore freely and express themselves without fear of making a mistake or a mess, they grow emotionally, socially, and cognitively.
Messy play in particular is rich in benefits. It engages the senses, supports fine motor development, encourages problem-solving, and gives children a chance to express their emotions non-verbally. And when we join them in their play—without rushing, fixing, or tidying too soon—we send the powerful message: I see you, and you're safe to be just as you are.
Creative Play Ideas—for You and Your Inner Child (With or Without Children)
Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or simply someone wanting to reconnect with joy and spontaneity, here are a few creative play ideas to try:
Finger Painting: Lay out large sheets of paper and use fingers or hands to explore colour and movement. Let go of trying to ‘make something’—just enjoy the sensation and freedom.
Handprint Trees: Paint your forearm and hand to stamp out the trunk and branches of a tree. Add leaves with fingerprints or sponges. This can be a gentle symbol of growth and rootedness.
Mud Kitchens or Nature Soup: Use pots, ladles, and spoons outside with mud, leaves, petals, and water. Allow the mess and let your imagination lead.
Scribble Stories: Start with a big scribble on paper, then take turns turning it into something else—an animal, a scene, a feeling. Add colours, shapes, or words as you go.
Sensory Trays: Fill a shallow tray with shaving foam, cooked spaghetti, jelly, or oats. Hide small toys inside and explore with hands.
Build a Den: Use blankets, cushions, and furniture to create a cosy hideaway. Read stories inside or simply lie back and listen to music.
These activities can be shared with children—or done alone as a way to nurture your own sense of play. They’re not about ‘getting it right’—they’re about being present, spontaneous, and free.
Final Thoughts
Tending to our inner child doesn’t mean dwelling in the past. It means creating new experiences in the present that are infused with warmth, acceptance, and creativity. Whether you’re covered in paint, laughing over a muddy concoction, or quietly drawing under a blanket fort, these moments can offer something profound: a sense of connection—not just with our children, but with ourselves.
You—and your inner child—deserve that kind of care.
